Opinion
The Ballad of Chinese Democracy
Warning: You may cry...or burst into flames. One of the two will happen.
By Jacob Kanclerz
I tried listening to it the other day. I tried to get all the way through it, but I had to stop. The pain was too great, and I just could not handle being hurt by them again, the band I had fallen for so long ago.
When I first heard the news, I could not help but give a little giggle. It had been so long, the last time I could hold them in my hands, knowing that everything was ok and that Slash would be there for me, giving me incredible solos, and that Axl would be there to sing his heart out like he always does. They had always been there for me, especially at the beginning. Oh, what wonderful times those were! With the rush, the passion, and the excitement of such tracks “Paradise City” and “Welcome to the Jungle,”
my love knew how to turn me on like no other.
I stayed with them when they branched out musically and slowed down. They settled down, I was thinking we were going to end up with kids for awhile, but the years passed by. Bands members left, other replacements came and went. It seemed like every couple of years Rose would say it was almost on its way, but that day never came. I sat there waiting like an abandoned dog, tied up, waiting for its owner to come back, never knowing that owner went to buy a much more smaller and manageable dog, and most likely more adorable as well.
Soon, the date I had waited for so long, for the return of my former love, drew nearer. I began to anticipate and become enthusiastic. It was going to happen! The new album would be released at long last! The memories started to rush back, the good times of the past. Not only that, but Dr. Pepper was promised to every America citizen on the day of the release. I required nothing else to consider my life complete.
The days and weeks that followed were just as unpleasant, if not more, than the fourteen years before. The awful over-production of the vocals showed me it was just about Axl these days. The solos were fun, but just not the same as Slash. The CD was all over the place; it was not committed to rock n’ roll, it just wanted to do its own thing and not care for the needs and interests of its loved ones. My heart was broken all over again.
These days I wonder if I can love again. I’m thinking of converting to being a country music fan, or even worse, a Fall Out Boy fan. I don’t know how I can replace the love of my life, and what’s worse; I did not even get my free Dr. Pepper. It was just a bad day overall, really