Opinion
Why I Shouldn't Have "Sparticipated"
Countless E-mails from campus cult are scaring the shit out of me
By Richard Brands
Sparticipation was supposed to be an opportunity to view firsthand the opportunities available through the organizations at MSU. Naturally, the only way they could sucker people into going to this was with the promise of free junk. What none of us realized, however, was some organizations wouldn’t take “no” or “fuck off” for an answer.
I, like most everyone else, went to Sparticipation to get free things while pretending to listen to some windbag talk. I was doing this pretty well, but then the worst happened. I wandered into his booth. He must have singled me out in the crowd immediately. As I wandered by, a toothy grin was flashed, and candy was offered. I was delighted. It seemed Christmas was going to come twice this year. After I accepted the candy, he asked politely if he could have a few moments of my time. I nodded while munching in my chocolaty heaven, completely oblivious to what he was saying. He went on for a while, and by the time I had finished my treat he asked me to sign my name on a piece of paper. At the time I didn’t think much of giving him my name and email. I should have realized something was wrong the moment his hot breath hit the back of my neck. Now it seems I’ve signed a contract writ in blood.
The emails began less than an hour after Sparticipation ended. At first they were simple. Inviting me to events I didn’t care about. Encouraging contact I did not want. Offering my life meaning it did not need. But this happens a lot on the internet. So I deleted the first email and went on with my life. Then the second email came. And the third. And the fourth. By this time, their contents were becoming gradually more disturbing. They began to inform that I was “never truly alone” because “He is always with you.” What the hell is that supposed to mean? They’re having me followed? Over fucking candy!?
Of course, as soon as something like this is made known to you, you begin to see the signs of it everywhere. Shadows that follow my progress down a dim hallway. A light touch upon my dorm room handle while I believe myself to be safe in bed. The occurrences are everywhere. These crazy bastards mean business.
I saw now that I needed to clearly discern what their goal was. I went back over the emails, to search them more thoroughly. This was clearly a cult of some sort. Using, with apparent glee, words such as “hebdomadal”. What the hell does that even mean? However, the line that disturbed me the most was: “As any good soldier knows, you should always bring your sword to every battle…” Just what are these people planning?
I now must go into hiding for fear of retaliation against me after exposing this group to you all. They exist in campus, and they operate openly. They have goals, black goals to be certain. I pray they do not succeed. Godspeed.