Opinion
Poorly Drawn Penises Still Hilarious, Study Concludes
By Christopher J. Moon, Spartan Weekly Sports Editor and
Penile Graffiti Artist
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Sometimes you don’t have
to grow up. A study executed by the Humor Division of the U.S. Census Bureau
has
concluded that crude, graffiti penises drawn on objects have retained their
status as “hilarious.” Coordinated once every seven years, the Census Bureau’s
test has confirmed penis drawings’ comedic prowess three consecutive times.
The survey consisted of interviewing one hundred 15-year old males and gauging their reactions to several images. The Bureau recorded penises finished first, with 99 laughs. Graffiti boobs finished a close second, with a 94% positive reaction. Losing ground this year were graffiti butts, which received only a 74/100 rating, a drop of 15 points from seven years ago.
If you would like to contact Christopher J. Moon to share
your intelligent jokes about naughty parts, or to thank him for his service
to America, he can be e-mailed at moonchr1@msu.edu. You can also follow
him on Twitter.