The Spartan Weekly, The Truth's Worst Nightmare

Lisa Erickson

MSU head football coach Mark Dantonio has shown that he has more than a few tricks up his sleeve when it comes to outwitting opponents.

Although the fake-fumble-throw-to-the-end-zone play worked against the Notre Dame defense, leading to a 31-14 win for the Spartans on Sept. 22, Dantonio says there is much more involved than just the physical play-book runs.

“One of the big problems I noticed with John L. Smith was that he was too easy to read,” Dantonio said. “Sure, he had some trick plays here and there but the other team could always see it coming. I decided to get some Botox treatments to add to the mental aspect of the game, to keep our opponents guessing.”

While some consider Dantonio’s methods unorthodox, others claim it genius.

“Botox treatments just show how dedicated Dantonio is to our team,” quarterback Brian Hoyer said. “How many other college coaches get surgery to help their team win?”

But it’s not just Dantonio who is going the extra mile. Several players have followed their coach’s example, including tight end Kendall Davis.

“There have been several rumors flying around that I am on some performance enhancing drugs which is how I play offense and defense,” Davis said. “The only drug in my system is Botox. And I would say it’s performance enhancing, only because I stay completely expressionless. Apparently that’s quite unnerving. The rest is just me … solid muscle, baby.”

Dantonio has not yet made it a requirement to receive treatments, but he has encouraged Botox to all his players. With this seasons focus on the mental part of the game, he says that one person smiling could blow the whole game plan.

“This is nothing special,” Dantonio said, “just some creative thinking. This year, we’ve just decided to be less physical and more mental.”