The Spartan Weekly

EAST LANSING- It is no doubt that MIP’s are hitting our peers hard as they partake in weekend festivities such as tailgating, partying, and “pregaming”. Cops are lurking at every corner waiting to ticket you for being a minor in possession.

Not only does it affect our time to enjoy and let loose after a long week of work, but believe it or not, it is also hurting our sex lives.

“Dude, I can’t get any with all these MIP’s.” Said by a student who would like to be known as Big Rich. “Chicks aren’t as open as they are when they are drunk.”

Campus Masterbating at All Time High
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Why I Shouldn't Have "Sparticipated"

Countless E-mails from campus cult are scaring the shit out of me

By Richard Brands

Sparticipation was supposed to be an opportunity to view firsthand the opportunities available through the organizations at MSU. Naturally, the only way they could sucker people into going to this was with the promise of free junk. What none of us realized, however, was some organizations wouldn’t take “no” or “fuck off” for an answer.

Why I Shouldn't Have "Sparticipated" -

Detroit Lions Win Parade Scheduled for Tuesday

iran's moon base The three leaders called upon Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to allow for an immediate investigation of the moon base by the International Agency for Inspecting Crazy Plots and Such.

Iranian Moon Base Revealed - Read More

When asked why they chose to keep the bill a secret, Sen. Reid answered with: “Just 'cause” and “they felt like it.”

“It was fun to see just how quickly civilized discourse could degenerate into senseless demagoguery. Just fantastic – better than the Youtube,” cackled Speaker Pelosi. “We loved the signs depicting President Obama as a Malaysian Nazi Muslim, it showed just how creative the American people can be.”

Congress Just Kidding, Passed Healthcare Bill
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Warm Weather Blamed for Campus-Wide Streaking Epidemic - Read More

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Editor's Corner

Why I Shouldn't Have "Sparticipated"